December 1998
The Director - Departments
Grief Relief
Fourteen natural ways to ease the blues
Feelings of sadness and depression always follow the loss of someone we love. Here are some natural techniques the bereaved can use to ease the blues.
White out your anxiety. Whenever you are caught up in a whirlwind of anxiety and worry, try this "white out" exercise recommended by Anees A. Sheikh, Ph.D., psychology professor at Marquette University in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. Relax your mind and imagine you are sitting in a large, open field. Rainbow lights fill the sky and one shaft of white light, brighter than a thousand suns, has found you. Feel it warming the top of your head. Feel it penetrating your body as it flows from your head, into your chest, your arms, your hands, your abdomen, your legs, feet and toes. Perceive this light as cleansing you, dissolving all negative emotions and thoughts, and leaving your body in the form of dark smoke blown away by a gentle breeze. You are left feeling free and joyful.
Wash the blues away. Everyone is familiar with the relaxing qualities of a hot bubble bath, but researchers have now demonstrated that a long soak can cheer up a depressed person. Psychiatrists at Michigan State University asked 45 men and women, between the ages of 16 and 62 and diagnosed with depression, to take a 30-minute bath. Measuring the subjects' moods before and after, the researchers discovered their levels of anxiety, melancholy and hostility dropped significantly.
Do a short, simple meditation. Most people know that meditation is an invaluable tool for reducing stress, increasing awareness and lifting a mood, but many find it hard to fit a daily practice into their busy schedule. Here is a quick way of meditating when you feel stressed or down that can be done in less than two minutes:
Sit comfortably, with your spine straight, hands in your lap.
Close your eyes and imagine tension flowing out of your body.
Silently repeat a calming, comforting word to yourself—peace, love, wisdom, God, Buddha and Christ are good choices.
If your mind wanders, just relax. Let the thoughts go.
Continue repeating your word.
Use hope to cope. "Hope is a vigorous principle; it sets the head and heart to work and animates a man to do his utmost," declared 17th century British writer Jeremy Collier, and recent research confirms Collier s insight. A study by Douglas A. Drossman, M.D., a professor at the University of North Carolina School of Medicine, Chapel Hill, tracked the health of 200 women at a clinic for treatment of gastrointestinal problems.
Over the course of one year, Dr. Drossman found that health measurements—including pain and the number of doctor visits—were considerably poorer in women who exhibited a coping style called catastrophizing. "Catastrophizing describes a profound sense of pessimism and hopelessness," explains Dr. Drossman. Catastrophizers see themselves as a victim of their illness, with no control of the situation. In his study, catastrophizers had 60 percent more doctors visits and nearly twice as much pain compared with women who were more optimistic and hopeful.
According to Dr. Drossman, an effective way to avert catastrophic thinking is to cultivate hope and tap into hopeful attitudes. Keep a positive frame of mind. Remind yourself that you are really in control. You can do something about your illness, he reminds people.
Confide in a friend. "When you think only about your problems, it is likely that you'll end up obsessing about them and feeling even more stressed," says Elliott Dacher, M.D., who practices internal medicine and conducts healing and wellness seminars nationwide. "Spend time with a trusted friend, sharing your innermost fears, your sadness over the loss of a loved one or your feelings of anger or bitterness about a problem at work," he advises. "Research shows that something as simple as social support greatly enhances one's health."
Tap into the spiritual. Participating in a faith community is good medicine says Dale Matthews, M.D., at Georgetown University, Washington, D.C. He reviewed more than 200 studies on the link between religion and health and noted that religion has positive effects on patients dealing with depression, drug abuse, alcoholism, cancer, high blood pressure and heart disease. Theories on how religion makes you healthier include:
People who participate in a faith community have a strong network of friends.
Religious people are less likely to smoke, drink to excess and engage in other unhealthy habits.
Taking part in prayer and mediation may lower harmful stress hormones in the body.
Exercise. Physical activity produces endorphins, the body's natural chemicals that relieve pain and create a better mood. "The physical activity doesn't have to be strenuous—even a brisk 20-minute walk is sufficient to combat a bad mood," says Martin Groder, M.D., a Chapel Hill, North Carolina, psychiatrist. "Just being outdoors will expose you to sunlight—another natural anti-depressant. Over time, exercise will make you look better and improve your overall health. And by providing a steady stream of endorphins, regular exercise will actually help protect you from future bad moods," he adds.
Write them off. Relief from the blues can be effectively accomplished by the simple task of keeping a journal or diary. Dr. Dacher recommends writing in a journal for about 15 minutes every evening. Research reveals that writing out feelings greatly relieves stress. Writing also imposes order on a particular situation so you are more able to resolve problems," he notes. "I've kept a journal for 20 years and when I look back on what I ve written, I discover thought and behavior patterns—good ones and bad ones. I see decisions I have made and directions I have taken. Often, I realize that I need to change certain patterns in order to achieve a more truly healthful life."
Intentionally cultivate more joy. "Joy is a natural energizer," declares best-selling author Deepak Chopra, M.D. "If you're having a good time, you'll never be fatigued. In fact, studies have found that 80 percent of people suffering from chronic fatigue score higher than normal on measures of depression and anxiety," he notes. His suggestion for cultivating more joy is to shift your awareness to the positive and modify the negative. "We can't avoid negative events, but we don't have to dwell on them. Treat others with kindness, tolerance and love, refuse to entertain negativity, and pay attention to the joy and playfulness that can be found all around you," he advises.
Socialize. "One of the biggest mistakes we make when feeling blue is to isolate ourselves, which can make a bad mood even worse," says Dr. Groder. "Force yourself to call someone or even throw a simple party—take-out pizza will do—and invite some people you haven't seen in a while," he recommends.
Recite affirmations. To affirm simply means to "make firm." An affirmation is a strong, positive sentence that something is already in existence. Reciting affirmations is a way of "making firm" a condition that you wish to experience. Some mood-elevating affirmations include:
I am a radiant man/woman, filled with joy and peace.
I am greatly blessed.
Perfect wisdom is in my heart.
All things are working together for good in my life.
Plug yourself into an inspirational tape. "Whenever my mood dips down, I turn to my tape recorder," says Karen, a California teacher and the single parent of two grade-school children. "Every few months, I record a 30-minute tape filled with inspirational quotations I've found from various sources. I keep the tapes and the recorder by my bedside. When I m feeling low, I listen to those good words before I go to sleep and then, again, first thing in the morning when I wake up. Saturating my mind with those positive thoughts always dissolves my bad mood and lifts my spirits."
Do some mental housecleaning. Some people experience the blues because they are hurt and haunted by a negative past event. Rather than let the past drag you down, do some mental housecleaning. In her book, You Can Heal Your Life, author Louise Hay explains that some people find such cleansing emotionally painful but says it does not need to be that way. "We must look at what is there before we can clean it out," she explains. "If you want to clean a room thoroughly, you will pick up and examine everything in it. Some things you will look at with love, and you will dust them or polish them to give them new beauty. Some things will never serve you again, and it becomes time to let those things go. It is the same thing when we are cleaning our mental house," she writes.
"There is no need to get angry just because some of the beliefs in it are ready to be tossed out. Let them go as easily as you would scrape bits of food into the trash after a meal. Would you really dig into yesterday's garbage to make tonight's meal? Do you dig into old mental garbage to create tomorrow's experiences?" Hay advises eliminating thoughts, beliefs and attitudes that no longer serve you well.
Accept life's disappointments. Life brings everyone some disheartening and discouraging times. Rather than allow those events to frustrate you, simply accept the inevitable fact that there will be difficulties and discouragement. Recognize that such experiences are simply the price of being alive. Tell yourself, "This too shall pass."
Victor M. Parachin, Claremont, CA, is a NFDA grief educator and minister.
