January 2001
The Director - Features
Is it All Right Not to Cry?
Helping bereaved men requires an alternative approach
A couple walks into a funeral home following a significant loss in their lives—perhaps a parent has died or a child. While the woman's tears flow as she makes the arrangements, the man is dry-eyed, stoic, even seemingly chipper. There is a tendency to wonder: Is there something wrong with that guy? Where are his emotions?
Many funeral directors are familiar with this situation. Is it All Right Not to Cry? explains that although many bereaved men don't cry or talk about their grief, they still mourn the death of their loved one. In the article, Neil Chethik shares what he learned from surveying 306 men about how they dealt with the loss of their fathers. The article offers six suggestions for funeral directors to better serve men coping with the death of a loved one. The article also includes some of the key findings of the FatherLoss Survey, which was conducted by the University of Kentucky Survey Research Center.
Chethik is a writer and workshop leader who focuses on men's psychology. He wrote the book FatherLoss: How Sons of All Ages Come to Terms With the Deaths of Their Dads. (Hyperion).
